Mayonnaise and Big Butts (not as closely related as previously thought)

Mayonnaise and french fries. Some scorn it, others fear it. But few have conquered it. Actually, that's a lie, lots of people eat it. But I, my friends, can now count myself one among that number. Fellow americans that are squiged out by the idea of this, I ask you to reflect: haven't you ever had cheese fries, poutine, or chili fries? Honestly, if you've had those, you're just a closeted french fries and mayo eater, hiding behind your concept american superiority of processed cheese product. Shame on you. Give mayo a chance.


But now the gory experience itself: I didn't get these at anyplace fancy, it seemed like a pretty standard fast food place. They did, however have a gigantic selection of sauces, but not being able to understand anything but mayonnaise and curry, I decided to go for the mayo, though I plan to try the curry sauce, because that intruiges me a lot. In anycase, I order the smallest size, which still turns out to be this monster cone of fries and then the server put two large squirts of mayo on top; there must have been at least a quarter cup of mayo on there, if not a half cup. They had these little wooden forks to eat it with, but silly me I didn't take one and instead, just dug in.

They mayo definitely was a different creature from that globby, gelatinous stuff we get back in the states. It was smoother and creamier, more like the consistancy of nocho cheese. Mayonnaise is sold in squirt bottles here, like kechup. And ketchup is sold in these nifty metal tubes, which makes all sorts of sense and I don't know why we don't have it in america, but instead struggle with those silly glass containers. But I digress. I really appreciated the flavor of the mayo, too. It was a bit milder than american mayo but at the same time had a nice bit of flavor from the taste of the olive oil along with a subtle sweetness. In short, it really worked well with the fries, which were so phenominal that they could have just been sauce free and I would have thoughly enjoyed my fries experience.

Without the aforementioned fork, things got quite messy as I dug deeper into the cone. I ended up not finishing it, partially because it was basically impossible to finish it and partly because my hands were getting covered in really sticky viscous greese (the mayo managed to be sticky and greasy at the same time, an engineering feat to be sure!). After all that heavy fat, to which my tummy strenuously objected to afterwars, a long lovely walk along a canal was totally in order, so that was what I did.

There is a little park that runs the length of this canal, which made the whole experience extra super-duper pretty. The only thing that I had to watch out for were the bikers. Honestly, they're like NYC cabbies but with bikes instead. There is one lane on the street (and sometimes the sidewalk) for bicyles and one on the sidewalk for pedestrians. If there is a bike lane on the sidewalk, for the love of god watch where you're walking and, as I learned, don't walk and look at a map at the same time. I mean, they'll swerve around you, maybe slow down a touch, but they are for the most part pretty agressive and out for the blood of tourists.

As I was walking back, I noticed something about the cars here that I had also noticed in France; their big butts. There's really no other way to discribe it. Here's a picture of a small "butt":

Notice how the chassie of the car starts to protrude further back at the point where the headlights are. It is almost as if it's an attempt to mimic the chassie of a sudan in a hatchback style car, which basically all the cars here are (though I have seen a few SUVs). If I find some more really prominent ones I'll show you all. For now, over and out.